Daily Prompt: Can’t Stand Me

by marciaverleta

See no evil.

See no evil.

See no evil. Nothing is as it seems.  Appearance means a great deal and experience tells me why.  My voice has always deceived everyone as it is bearable and friendly.

If only my voice and appearance would go hand in hand.  A charming, soothing and disarming soundtrack accompanied by a standoffish and unconcerned cover.

If I were an actor then I would need countless takes to match my voice and appearance.  The visual is quite difficult for me.  The audio has been mastered.

Recently I’ve noticed that I never really allowed myself to breath and relax comfortably.  At each weekly exercise that I manage to make, I manage to reconnect with myself.  It is the only time that I truly see what others see, because they feel obligated to tell me.  Otherwise my opinion is self-deflated.

I prefer to hide.  If the attention were somehow sent my way, I’d find a way to deflect it.  I love anonymity.  A video would seal who I am.  It would only highlight what I need to change.

Until I fully connect with myself and rediscover my purpose in this world, I’d much rather not see myself.  The journey is slow but I am determined to attempt it by firstly identifying why I am the way that I am.