Ride The Wild Horse

Passionately Writing

Photo Challenge: Endless Love

Containers

Containers

Approximately 2 years and 3 months ago my daughter received her first dog.  Khloe was her given name but my Oliva gave her the name Zoe Zoe.  She was affectionately called “Zoey”.  Zoe Zoe was her dream dog except she was a three legged rescue.

Today my daughter stayed in the jeep whilst I took her dog to be euthanized. After leaving Zoe Zoe at the Humane Society I realized that what we did was out of love.  As I returned from the task Olivia looked into my eyes to see if I was alright.  In her eyes I saw a sweet relief.  It’s all surreal to me.

As I fight a long hard battle to get my life on track, I suddenly realize that Zoe Zoe’s life had derailed before we met her and that we were only a brief remission from suffering in her life journey.  Zoey gave us everything she had and when it weaned we returned her love with vehemence.  She liked that.

Just this past week our love couldn’t erase the fact that Zoey wasn’t going to be a normal dog.  It couldn’t stop her suffering.  Our love couldn’t change what was happening to us.

Last night, Zoey whaled for me to let her into the living room where she loved to wait for me.  I let her in knowing that would be our last retreat together.  Yet I couldn’t feel bad as I heeded my mother’s words, “That dog is suffering…..”  I knew that I had to become less selfish.

Olivia was ready to part with her first dog simply because we did all that could have done to help her.  She just needed to know that I was ready too.  The deed is done.

It will be a while before I get Olivia another dog.  Some say “You should have gotten her a healthy dog.”  I say all dogs give love.

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The Hunch back of Notre Dame’s sister

 

Map of Dominican Republic

In high school I was Quasimodo’s sister.  My posture left a lot to be desired.  My head down and my eyes averted always downward.  I was however oblivious to it all until I noticed the behavior of my peers.  Fellow students and relatives were fully cognizant of my blatant defect.

I got up each day with a great attitude or at least I thought I did.  I could not see this flaw.  It’s like speaking without flossing or brushing after a hearty meal.  Some food is left in your teeth for all to see, but unless someone points it out to you or you feel the lodged food accidentally with the tongue it will of course remain between your teeth simply because you are unaware that it exists, Oh how extremely embarrassing especially when you remember that you talked more than everyone else.

No one ever hated me enough to say anything mean to my face, yet no one loved me enough to suggest that I do something about it.  It was a time when we all were trying to deal with puberty and self awareness.  My family sure sucked.  If only my mother or father didn’t just accept me the way I was.  However, I am grateful that they loved me in spite of my cowering appearance.

It would be great to erase that time.  However it happened and nothing will change that memory.  I’ve met many people just like me.  They seemed to be normal or acceptable.  We were just   going forward and in like company.  Unfortunately, we all had something underlying in our past or present that prompted us to bend forward and look down at the ground.

Today, I find myself extremely conscious of my appearance.  However, it’s after many years of just accepting myself to be just unlucky. Since then, I’ve deeply questioned why my posture was such an impediment for me. I found many good answers because it carried over to my temperament and attitude about my life.  Hopefully I can share them all in future blogs.  There is always a good time and place.

 

Daily Prompt: Can’t Stand Me

See no evil.

See no evil.

See no evil. Nothing is as it seems.  Appearance means a great deal and experience tells me why.  My voice has always deceived everyone as it is bearable and friendly.

If only my voice and appearance would go hand in hand.  A charming, soothing and disarming soundtrack accompanied by a standoffish and unconcerned cover.

If I were an actor then I would need countless takes to match my voice and appearance.  The visual is quite difficult for me.  The audio has been mastered.

Recently I’ve noticed that I never really allowed myself to breath and relax comfortably.  At each weekly exercise that I manage to make, I manage to reconnect with myself.  It is the only time that I truly see what others see, because they feel obligated to tell me.  Otherwise my opinion is self-deflated.

I prefer to hide.  If the attention were somehow sent my way, I’d find a way to deflect it.  I love anonymity.  A video would seal who I am.  It would only highlight what I need to change.

Until I fully connect with myself and rediscover my purpose in this world, I’d much rather not see myself.  The journey is slow but I am determined to attempt it by firstly identifying why I am the way that I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moods

Out of control.  My mind.  Yeah that’s it.  A big open space like a body of water.  Roomy and spacious.  Unencumbered or uninhibited by anything.  Unlike a time before today. I am at play.  Playing hard.  Not like before.  It’s very different.  There was no room to play or to deviate. Everything cramped its space. […]

Empowered by default

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

Jean de La Fontaine
 
 

Let’s see. Honestly, I have been lost most of my life. At the end of each wrong turn invaluable lessons manifested. Simply put, I rambled through my life until I reached the age of thirty. Then at age 30 I asked better questions and truly did not settle for easy answers. But that’s a long story, so let me remember a time before I asked better questions.
Many treasured experiences came by way of my family vacation trips. In my early twenties we took annual trips to Florida to shop, relax, shop, explore, shop and visit new tourist attractions. It was on those shopping trips that the designated driver was put to the test. That’s me.
Hardly conscious of my inexperience, the immeasurable delight of getting behind the wheel just gave me wings to fly and be free. Simply put this made me really happy. My confidence was impenetrable.
Rental cars smelled clean and felt spanking new. Fuel was more than a tank full of gas but a purse filled with shopping money. It is an unnatural and addictive high for me.
Everybody, cousins, aunts, mother and siblings counted on me for a safe deliverance to their endless list of places to visit. They were merciless.
However, I was always in a world of my own. I could care less for the lists, traffic, misplaced confidences or hidden agendas. The road always befriended me.
Maps would be in my lap and the passenger’s hands. It was quite easy to explain where I was going, but the difficulty came when we ended up in the middle of nowhere. Voices would boom out loud and scream, “You should have listened to me,” quite irritatingly.
Well along the way of each wrong turn we passed places we would have never seen. Sites unthinkable, attractions not listed on our maps and more importantly bigger stores and malls that carried better bargains and quality items. Each passenger, including me, would scream out loudly, “Look where…is,” or “we would never have found this if we didn’t get lost.”
I love my family but, those days are gone forever! Now I’d much rather let them drive themselves. However, I can never forget those wings to fly and be free.

 

 

 

Wrong Turns

When was the last time you got lost? Was it an enjoyable experience, or a stressful one? Tell us all about it.

 

 

“Fifty”:”Unexpected”

 

by KP Tripathi on Flickr

by KP Tripathi on Flickr

“Has the sun already set?” she questioned herself.
“I hear my uneven breath!” she gasped.

 

by rosebuds photography on Flickr

by rosebuds photography on Flickr

Seagulls drape the shoreline and fly in a plum like skyline.

“Beautiful,” she squeaks exuberantly while preening to look from the side windows back to the rear view mirror.
Deadlines and tension vanish with time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Inspiration: 

“Unexpected” by Refreshing Life

BUGABOO: Focus On The Process

William Zinsser

William Zinsser

  • How do I take my eye off the finish line to run the race?  
  • Is writing a special language owned by the English Teacher or availabe to the classic few who have “a gift for words.”?

“Writing is thinking on paper” 

Writing is chatting to someone else on paper if we can think clearly about any subject at all. Writing will always require plain old hard work – clear thinking – and the plain old tools of the English language.
“Decide what you want to do. Then decide to do it. Then do it.”
Writing Today.

Writing Today.

Writing isn’t easy and no fun.  It is hard, lonely and words seldom flow. Rewriting is the essence of writing.  A professional writer must establish a daily schedule and stick to it.  Writing is a craft not art.  To avoid going broke no one should run away from his craft because he lacks inspiration.  There are all kinds of writers and all kinds of methods to write.

“Less is more.” 

Learn how to use the English language in a way that will achieve the greatest clarity and strength.

― William Knowlton Zinsser

William Zinsser

William Zinsser

All About Writing (My reading to write better):

Bugaboo!

Bugaboo!

Good Writing

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Good writing excites me, and makes life worth living.

by Harold Pinter

Yes I have to write.  I wish to write better; but can’t, won’t and don’t.

Ah to be well read and “well said.” If only my words can be wielded with flair like writers I admire. I am discouraged.  Yet I still want to write. I must think and study.

  • Rules.
  • What rules are worth.

Brenda Ueland is right, “everyone is talented, original and has something to say,” but I wont neglect my housework for writing.  Nor will I allow my creative urges to be “drummed out” by the many “unloving know-it-alls”: my teachers, critics, friends, family and curious spectators. Ueland taught that the only good teacher was an encouraging friend who “loves you, who thinks you are interesting or very important or wonderfully funny.”  I have found this to be absolutely true.

  • Laws of construction, plot and dialogue.

John van Druten said ” I cannot make you  a playwright,” and what a pity.  Well at least van Druten wrote, ” I can tell you only what I know and think, myself. There will be no rule that is not covered with the phrase ‘to suit my tastes.’  Those tastes may very well not be yours, as they have often not been those of other people.  But they are all that I can write.”  So in this spirit I collect as many tools to fashion my own writing.

So I will first acquaint myself with the available tools and then choose the appropriate ones for the task at hand.  So I will heed good advice.

Truman Capote said:

Writing has laws of perspective of light and shade, just as painting or music does.  If you are born knowing them, fine.  If not, learn them.  Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself.

T. S. Eliot agreed:

It is not wise to violate the rules, until you know how to observe them.

  • My voice and tone.
  • Principles of structure and plot.
  • Formal and familiar styles.
  • The rules of grammar and usage.
  • Inspiration and perseverance.

 

Well this is where I will start!

 

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My Reading:

Bugaboo: Focus on the Writing Process

True Love’s Kiss

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Make a promise in the coming weeks of summer.  It is a wonderful obligation to fulfill.  A promise fulfilled over a life time is a gift worth beholding.  To be the bearer of this extraordinary feat is as equal to the joy and pleasure of receiving it when it returns back to the bearer.

To be in a movie theater with a ten year old is a journey one must make.  The trip can be filled with misery, entertainment or an unforgettable time.  The movie however must be original and encouraging to avoid a night of nightmares.

We must remember the promises placed at our feet.  Every promise entices.  Yet how do you spur yourself to believe in them? It is never easy.  This requires parting with our fears, then replacing the room they once occupied with trust.  A journey in absolute blindness.

The movie Maleficent is brilliant! My daughter and I both thoroughly enjoyed watching it. It’s a keeper! (We will add it to our collection.)  When my words fall on deaf ears then my actions must be swift and true.  My promises embed themselves deep within her mind and heart. As like all the promises made to me.  One has to prepare to fulfill a lifelong list of promises, so never make a promise you never intend to keep.  

This is my wish every time I kiss her. At a movie theater my daughter learned that true love’s kiss isn’t just physical, but entirely much more. I learned that my search for true love is over because I already have it.

 

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A List

Happy

Happy

Michelle Dockery

Michelle Dockery

Instant Celebrity

If you could be a famous person for a day, who would you be? Why?