Approximately 2 years and 3 months ago my daughter received her first dog. Khloe was her given name but my Oliva gave her the name Zoe Zoe. She was affectionately called “Zoey”. Zoe Zoe was her dream dog except she was a three legged rescue.
Today my daughter stayed in the jeep whilst I took her dog to be euthanized. After leaving Zoe Zoe at the Humane Society I realized that what we did was out of love. As I returned from the task Olivia looked into my eyes to see if I was alright. In her eyes I saw a sweet relief. It’s all surreal to me.
As I fight a long hard battle to get my life on track, I suddenly realize that Zoe Zoe’s life had derailed before we met her and that we were only a brief remission from suffering in her life journey. Zoey gave us everything she had and when it weaned we returned her love with vehemence. She liked that.
Just this past week our love couldn’t erase the fact that Zoey wasn’t going to be a normal dog. It couldn’t stop her suffering. Our love couldn’t change what was happening to us.
Last night, Zoey whaled for me to let her into the living room where she loved to wait for me. I let her in knowing that would be our last retreat together. Yet I couldn’t feel bad as I heeded my mother’s words, “That dog is suffering…..” I knew that I had to become less selfish.
Olivia was ready to part with her first dog simply because we did all that could have done to help her. She just needed to know that I was ready too. The deed is done.
It will be a while before I get Olivia another dog. Some say “You should have gotten her a healthy dog.” I say all dogs give love.